Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Randomize
