Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
