i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
