anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
