I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
