the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
