i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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