I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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