maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am available for nakedness
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
