What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
