I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
