Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
