Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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