You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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