Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
