Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
