Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
