remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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