Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
