put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
