like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
