yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
