He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
