Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
