Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
