she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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