We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
