it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
time to smoke my breakfast
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize