Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
