She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
