Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Randomize
