I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
