stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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