Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
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