At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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