I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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