I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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