I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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