Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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