Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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