did you get engaged???
People in love make me want to vomit
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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