i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize