"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't deserve a penis
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
