Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
