it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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