By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
