Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
