I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am mentally ready for anal.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
