I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
MIDGETS
????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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