No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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