Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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