with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
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i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize