You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Randomize
