i just google imaged poop.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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