I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
