My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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