if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
