I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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