She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
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