Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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